An After Thought / Healthy & Well / Parenting & Relationships

Dear Zindagi.. Love you!!

Dear Zindagi,

Hello! How are you and how’s Delhi winter treating you?
There is literally a pin drop silence in the house and around. I am sitting in the balcony with the laptop in hand & sipping my favorite ginger tea. Smoking a little smog too. It’s my idea of enjoying the ‘me time’ while Riaan, my two-year-old is attending his play school.
What am I thinking?
Well, I am thinking about you!
“What  exactly are you thinking about me?”  You must be racking to ask me.
Hmm.. I was just trying to figure you out which reminds me of this old Hindi film classic song.

मैं जिंदगी का साथ निभाता चला गया 
हर फ़िक्र को धुवें में उडाता चला गया…

बरबादियों का शौक माना फिजुल था,
बरबादियों का जशन मनाता चला गया 

जो मिल गया उसी को मुक़दर समझ लिया, 
जो खो गया मैं उसको भुलाता चला गया 

गम और ख़ुशी में फरक ना महसुस हो जहाँ 
मैं दिल हो उस मुक़ाम में लाता चला गया 

The lines in this song don’t they seem so true. Aren’t you just this..? 
After hovering in spirit form for long, you came to me with just a simple breath. It wasn’t a big deal or was it? Can you answer this for me, please? After the thirty something years of our association has it been a bed of roses or a thorny path for you? 
For me, I would call it has been a bumpy ride.

Topple

Rise

Topple

dssshhh…. {felt dead}

…and then rise.

You would say, girl, this was bound to happen. After all, you were more curious than the debacle of Rs. 500 & 1000 notes! Yes, I agree, I was busy most of the time finding out answers to the zillions of question that popped in my head.
This reminds me of something, do you remember the bicycle incident? When while sitting in the backseat of the bicycle on my way back home, I had pushed its lock to see what happens to a running cycle when it gets locked. Ha ha.. that’s an embarrassing one!
But I also wanted to know as a fast growing up teenager the reason why adults around me were so high headed and would fight with each other so often? At that point of time, I really wanted to know whether my life, that’s you, my dear, too would become equally complex after I grow up?
I have the answer to this question realized now. Well, it’s been long since I have taken a pause and thought about you so will tell it you the answer in the end of this letter only lest you may start a debate about it. So keep calm until then. 
In fact, it’s been long I have sat in front of a mirror and looked straight into my eyes. It may have appeared to you that I was pre-occupied with work but it wasn’t that. I am simply afraid of looking into my own eyes, I fear they would swell up with mighty tears. Tears of both happiness & sadness.
I don’t want to criticize you down-rightly as Zindagi, my dear, you have given me bountiful positives too. Though there are many unfulfilled dreams that are yet to be accomplished and some that cannot be fulfilled in this life. But then there are things that I possess and which are priceless.
I remember when I was due with Riaan, I was frightened to the core. How would my baby look like? Would he or she come out as a healthy baby? Will I survive the labor pain? Gosh! The delivery was nothing less than any thrilling scene from a blockbuster Hindi film. But when the time came and the doctor showed him to me, you dear Zindagi, felt like a bliss!
But I would definitely wanna fight with you for confusing me so much. Sometimes you seem to have become like a big batch of messed up wool. Hope you realize that in human form it takes a lot of patience, perseverance & hard work to untie all those knots, and finally make it into a neat ball – ready to be used for good again.
Well, you have been a wholesome potpourri of good & bad, highs & lows up til now. There are times when I want to give it up all and maybe go to the Himalayas or even give up you as well. But then there are moments that make me want to prosper, work hard & simply feel good about myself.
Coming to your answer that I told you that I would share with you towards the concluding of this letter. Dear Zindagi, I have realized that you can be complex sometimes and can appear to be simple at the very other moment. It is just matter of the angle from where I see the situation at. Like these famous song lines:

होंगी यही बहारें, उल्फ़त की यादगारें..

बिगड़ेगी और चलेगी, दुनिया यही रहेगी

होंगे यही झमेले, ये ज़िंदगी के मेले

Film: Mela (1948) Lyrics: Shakeel Badayuni
Zindagi, my dear, you are an ongoing celebration of every moment of my existence in this world. I want to embrace you wholeheartedly, take every moment, good or bad, in the stride. You are the closest of all friends and the unfathomable, unfailing love of my life. Love you Zindagi.

Hope being alive in me is making you Happy too!

Until next.

J

P.S.: Shahrukh Khan & Alia Bhatt’s (Riaan’s favorite, ladki beautiful) upcoming film ‘Dear Zindagi’ is about you. Feels good to hear that you are the talk of the town.. isn’t it?


“I am writing a letter to life for the #DearZindagi activity at BlogAdda“.

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